If you talk to God you are religious. If God talks to you, you are psychotic -House
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Fear

im not a good writer or good at telling stories but sometimes it just feels like I have to write. Im a lonely person with few friends that I care about so much and I am afraid of loosing. My family is a bit crazy but whose isnt? My family is also broken and Im in search of being part of something. I adore my job which gives me a temporary family and I love the place where i live now because I feel like I am part of a family. I live in a friends house/room, not very far from some of my family whom I have some bad past with. By bad past I mean they hated me, no I dont think they do anymore, nevertheless I feel like Im always being judged by them and it makes it very weird when I see them. this place i live in is nice and cozy, I even put up a christmas tree andchristmas decorations in an atempt to make it feel more like home. It works! I miss my mom everyday and most in the holidays, she lives in Mexico so I dont get to see her often, my dad lives far away with his girlfriend and my stepmom lives close by but Ive had to work a lot so I cant go as often. When i love I love with all my being and sometimes that is not a good thing because it makes me afraid of loosing them, by love i dont just mean a significant other but people around me who care or might care about me.
Im not girly and someone told me i wouldnt be loved because of this and I get scared i need to change. i live with a friend and I am afraid how others might see my moving in with him, i am afraid of being rejected by the one I love I am afraid of loosing who I care for, and most of all I am afraid Ill be too afraid to tell them how important they are to me and that they wont feel the same way